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Preparing a Fantasy Thanksgiving Dinner

by on November 23, 2016

Legends of Windemere

Kevin Hart Kevin Hart

Celebrating Thanksgiving in a fantasy world?  Follow these steps for the perfect meal that promises to be delicious, affordable, and minimal on casualties.

  1. Stock up on healing potions.  These can help with the prep work, family fights, bandit raids, food poisoning, and zombie turkeys.
  2. Hunt down your own turkey to save money for the other dishes.  They’re fairly plentiful in certain regions, so some traveling might be needed.  It is not recommended to use magic or anything else that obliterates the animal.
  3. Apologize to the griffin you mistook for a turkey and run.
  4. Find wild yams for mashing.  Earn extra money by doing this in public and claiming to be a stand-up comedian.  Due to copyright issues, always refuse to add a watermelon to your act.
  5. Buy green beans to steam.  What could go wrong?
  6. Finish wrapping scalded hand.
  7. Make bacon and eat most of it.  Give last…

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