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I’m in love with the girl

by on February 9, 2014

On the Manchester Mega store checkout desk, the song says. What? You were expecting a bit of gossip about my private life? Nyah,Nyah,Nyah!!! Doesn’t it just show that everyone is drawn to a bit of romantic gossip? With Valentine’s day approaching like a runaway train (it’s just bound to leave some wreckage in its wake, as always) my thoughts are firmly fixed on Romance, especially after my publisher hauled me off to The Romance Writers Convention last year. I haven’t recovered.

In fact I have so not recovered from the bizarre experience that I’m now writing a full on romance for my characters, or perhaps that should be with my characters. In fact, if I’m going to indulge a rare impulse for real accuracy, despite the best efforts and complaints of my characters.

(“Look, if we wanted to be in a Romance Novel we’d have got a woman writer whose emotional range extends beyond Rugby, Beer and Blues/Rock, all right? get on with what you can manage instead.”)

I’m not going to tell you what Grizelda, my witch (and in no way at all resembling my ex, OK?!) said to me when I told her she was retraining to be a marriage guidance counsellor. I even pointed out thatshe must have some expertise since she had kept her husband tied to her for twenty five years, but all she said was that I had a dirty mind. Me!! You would think that she’d have been happy with the nice holiday I gave her in Glastonbury in the coming release (Have Frog, Will Travel, http://www.thebannedunderground.com) but even that wasn’t enough.

So, with Valentines day approaching, I thought I’d offer some aspects of my New Romance side, all coming soon.

Love, as they say, is in the air:

– No, that’s the aroma from the pig farm.

-If you were hoping to join the Mile High club with me, you’ve got another think coming.

-Not for me, I have Vertigo.

See? No wonder the characters complained they were being added to one of my Paranormal/Horror books.

-My wife has an allergy. Have these flowers been sprayed with anything dangerous?
-No Sir, but the Pharmacy is next door if you can wait a moment

-Did you find it difficult when your boyfriend moved in?
-No, he came pre trained by his last girlfriend

-You must have loved her once
-Yes, but once was enough.

Here’s a thought: maybe I’ll establish a whole new sub genre: anti-romance. Wouldn’t that be something?

I know I’ve been a quiet on the blog for the last two weeks. Now you know why. Is anyone else having seasonal difficulties with their characters?

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7 Comments
  1. Rebecca Douglass permalink

    And another cute puppy!

    No trouble with characters right now. I’m deep in edits on two books at once, which of course leaves me wondering why anyone ever told me I could write, and why I believed them. I clearly should have become a secretary. I type rather well.

  2. I have many, many cute puppy piccies.

    I’m waiting for a cute character to come along, now.

  3. You are your puppies!!!! Lol! 😀

  4. Yes. Sigh. Substantial rewrite required. Book four? Oh no of course not, book 4 is fine it’s book 3 that’s bust.

    Sods law.

    cheers

    MTM

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