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Dwarf Rocks: The interviews : GG

by on December 4, 2011

Dwarf Rocks —The banned interviews

This time, Dwarf Rocks magazine caught up with the lead guitarist in The Banned Underground, known as GG.

He was found in an empty rehearsal room, halfway down the inside of a speaker stack, and our intrepid interviewer locked the door so that he couldn’t run away.

DR       GG, it’s Dwarf Rocks magazine here.  Can we do the interview now?

GG      What, from the inside of this speaker cab?

DR       Well, I can hear you quite well.

GG       <Deleted by publisher>

DR       I didn’t quite catch that one.

GG       Oh all right.  Am I getting paid for this?

DR       It was arranged through your management.

GG       That’ll be a “no”,  then.

DR       Do you handle all the electrics for The Banned, GG?

GG      Too right.  If I’m gonna get a shock, I don’t like it to come as one.

DR       What’s it like, being onstage with Haemar and Fungus, world renowned

             Musicians?

GG       Like being with any other two muppets who think that they rule the world.

              Frustrating, but sometimes, when we’re really rockin’, there’s nowhere else

              to be, you know?

DR       Who picks the set list for the gigs?

GG       Well, we all do, really, there’s a whole bunch of songs we enjoy, and

              sometimes we just go with the flow.  It can be like an extended jam

              session at some gigs, where we just pick up on each other.  One of us will

              come in with a note, or a chord, or an idea, and we just pick it up and run.

DR        Run?

GG       Do a lot of runnin’.  Used to be away from the punters, now it’s more chasin’

              The promotor fer the money.         

DR        Which is your favourite guitar?

GG       The Telecaster is pretty good, especially for the rock n roll stuff, but if we’re

              playin’ a blues or some Stones I prefer the Les Paul. An’ it’s heavier, which

              is a bonus – if we get punters tryin’ to get on stage, one whack with the Les

              Paul an’ they give up quick.

DR         How did you get your nickname?

GG        Who’s Nick?

DR         I meant, why do they call you GG?

GG        Oh, it’s some old thing.  I got in a bit of trouble when I were younger, so

              The guys called me this daft name.  The initials stuck, though, an’ I’m stuck

              with them now.

DR        Right. 

GG        Just grab this wire fer me.

DR         AAARRRGGHHHHHHHHH

GG        That’s the live one, then.  Ta.

DR         Dddduuhhh

GG        Important not ter get them mixed up.  Yer can damage yer stack that way.

DR        I think I just did.

GG        Oh well.  Were there anythin’ else, only I’ve got ter check out the light show

              too.

DR        When did you learn to play guitar?  I mean, it’s not normal for a dwarf.

GG        Dunno really.  Me dad took me ter buy me first axe, an’ we passed this music

              Shop on the way.  A guitar caught me eye, an’ I were away.  Came home

              with a Gibson axe instead.

DR         Was it hard, learning by yourself?

GG        At first.  But, I played it till me fingers bled, yer know?

DR        In the summer, eh?

GG        No, in the mines.  They wouldn’t let me practise in Helvyndelve at first, so

             They made me mess about in the mine, where the reverb helped.

DR        Helped what?

GG         First time I brought the house down, that were.  Took them three days

               ter dig me out afterwards.  But it were a good new seam, so they let me

               off.

DR          How did you come to join The Banned?

GG         Accident, really.  I were findin’ somewhere new ter stash the used pizza

               boxes, an’ came across Haemar an’ Fungus rehearsin’.  Well, I hit them

               wi’ the boxes, actually, then hit them with some licks, and we hit it off.

DR          And now you’re a Banned guitarist!

GG         Well, I’m banned from a few guitar shops, that’s true.

DR          When’s the next gig?

GG          When I’ve finished overhaulin’ the light show we bought off that

                Grizelda.  Here, hold this wire.

DR          Er, I think that’s all we’ve time for.  Thanks to GG for the interview.

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